“Meant to Be” Postpartum, Post-Adoption, Post-Surrogacy, & Antepartum Doula Service

Wisdom tells us that to heal from birth and thrive in parenting a newborn, one must hit the “pause” button on normal activities, and summon a tribe of additional support.  In this time, you and your baby are simply “meant to be,” not “meant to do.”  At Tremendoulas, we will come up with a customized plan to ease your transition to this new season of life, so you can focus on what is most important: bonding and nurturing health.

The “Meant to Be” Doula Service is customized to support each mother or family, including:

  • women who have recently birthed
  • adoptive parents
  • biological parents of babies born by surrogacy, and 
  • mothers who are on bedrest during their pregnancies (antepartum support)
Frequently Answered Questions

Q: What exactly are the services you offer as a postpartum doula?

A: Options include:

  • Answering basic postpartum questions
  • Demonstrating and providing guidance for basic newborn care — from the umbilical cord, to nail trimming, diapering (in cloth or in disposable), bathing, calming, and sleeping
  • Breastfeeding and bottle-feeding assistance
  • Processing the birth and postpartum experiences
  • Providing trustworthy, up-to-date resources for your situation
  • Guiding you as you learn to use a baby carrier — wrap, ring sling, soft structured carrier, and other styles
  • Setting up sitz baths and yoni steams (yoni steams are only available after lochia has ceased)
  • Teaching you to bind your belly to promote recovery from pregnancy and birth
  • Light household tasks, such as dishes, laundry, tidying, and meal preparations
  • Crafting menus and ingredient lists
  • Picking up provisions and running errands
  • Playing with siblings or helping care for the newborn when needed
Q: What exactly is a postpartum doula?

A: A postpartum doula is a knowledgeable, neutral support person to the family that has just given birth or has just brought their new baby home.  As a “generalist,” a postpartum doula is familiar with common challenges faced by new families, is skilled in caring for a healthy newborn and postpartum mother, and will recognize when things are abnormal and should be examined by your health care provider.  Postpartum doulas do not provide clinical services such as vaginal exams, tests, medical diagnosis, prescriptions, or professional counseling services, however, postpartum doulas are well informed of other professionals and resources that may be helpful to new parents.

Q: Is a postpartum doula the same thing as a baby nurse?

A: No.  While practices may overlap and be similar in some ways, the baby nurse model of postpartum support and the doula model of postpartum support are different.  Traditionally, a baby “nurse” (who may or may not be a licensed nurse) prioritizes or even exclusively takes care of babies’ needs — getting babies to sleep, changing diapers, bathing, and feeding babies (or instructing the mothers on pump use).  In this model, the baby nurse serves as a sort of nanny with a special focus on newborn infants.  In contrast, a postpartum doula is trained to prioritize the needs of the parents, and thereby indirectly meet the needs of babies.   My philosophy is that babies thrive best when their parents are caring for them, and that parents thrive best when they are well informed, nourished, listened to, rested, getting self-care, tuning into their intuition, and not overwhelmed.  When I show up for a postpartum shift, that is my goal — for you to thrive in caring for your own family.

Q: I have a mother or sister helping me out after birth. Why would a postpartum doula still be helpful?

A: A doula is a neutral party without the emotional attachments that family members and close friends have.  When you are with a doula, you are in a judgment-free zone where it is safe to share your true feelings about your birth story and postpartum experience.  Moreover, you can trust that advice offered by your postpartum doula is backed by up-to-date research, and isn’t based on popular or antiquated ideas about what your sleep, healing, or feeding should look like.  Plus, your mom and sister will be more help to you if they’ve had the opportunity to tend to their own self-care, so send them out for a break!

Q: Will you work overnight for my family?

A: If I have availability in my schedule, I am willing to work up to a couple overnight shifts per week.  However, my goals of getting you to a place of self-efficacy and strong attachment with your baby are dependent on you and I being on the same page for what overnight shifts may look like.  Ways I am willing to help you still be the parent and yet gain a better night’s rest include: offering evidence-based recommendations for safe and satisfying sleep arrangements; bringing baby to you in bed to breastfeed; burping baby after you’ve breastfed; changing baby’s diaper while you sleep; swaddling and soothing baby after you’ve breastfed; aiding with some light household work, such as sweeping floors, doing laundry, tidying a playroom, or packing older siblings’ lunchboxes.

Q: What does your typical arrangement look like, and how do we get started?

A: Each postpartum doula plan is customized to your needs as a family, but is also based on my availability.  There are no minimum number of visits.  We can add additional visits as needed.  If I am unable to meet all of your needs, I will offer referrals to other professionals who can help.

Typically, I work shifts ranging from 3-5 hours, but occasionally may work overnight.  We likely will create a schedule that begins with more frequent shifts, such as a visit every 2-3 days, and then tapers to less frequent shifts, such as a visit once per week.  Usually, the postpartum doula contract ends somewhere between 6 weeks after you have birthed to 3 months afterwards.

Q: I am pregnant right now but would like to come up with a postpartum plan that includes doula support. How do we begin?

A: If you are still expecting and know you would like a postpartum doula, we will meet prenatally to talk about your concerns and goals, and to craft a plan and postpartum contract ahead of time.  This meeting is complimentary and will take place in-person at a location in West Palm Beach.

Q: Our baby is already born, but we realize now that we would really benefit from a doula. How do we begin?

If you have already given birth or adopted, and are realizing now that you would like a postpartum doula, I recommend that we communicate by phone or email as you decide what you are aiming for in hiring a postpartum doula, if I am a good fit for your family, and what  our specific postpartum plan will look like.  I will only meet in-person, at your home, after a contract is in place.  

Arrange for the support you need to thrive!  Let’s take on your challenges as a team!

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